


Blue Dawn

by Eggling



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25242427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggling/pseuds/Eggling
Summary: “I could try,” the Doctor protested. “If it was what you wanted. I could try living in a house, with – a roof, and a – a sofa, and an outside the same size as the inside.” He chewed at the inside of his cheek thoughtfully for a moment. “I’m not quite sure what else goes in a house, to be perfectly honest with you.”The Doctor wonders what it might be like to live a different sort of life.
Relationships: Second Doctor/Jamie McCrimmon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Blue Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> on [tumblr](https://the--highlanders.tumblr.com/post/623537812112818176/blue-dawn).

The horizon was gradually lightening, blue bleeding into silky black to wash out the cacophony of stars above. It had been a long, slow sunrise, but the Doctor had been content to watch it all, soothed into a half-doze by the lapping of the sea that drifted in through the open windows. A slight chill crept in with it, but Jamie was radiating enough warmth beside him that he did not feel the need to get up and close the shutters. In the early morning quiet, it was easy enough to believe that the world was idyllic as it seemed.

At last, the top of the first sun appeared over the water, and he let out a soft breath of air in a silent gasp. The second followed soon after, and his hearts twinged a little, as they always did at such a sight. They never stopped, no matter now far he ran. These suns were yellow, their light fringed with green where it touched the rest of the sky, but when he closed his eyes the image of them was burnt into the backs of his eyelids in orange and silver.

“You’re worryin’.” Jamie’s voice was quiet, still a little weak. Another pang struck the Doctor’s hearts, this time with guilt rather than unwanted nostalgia. “It’s too early in the mornin’ tae be worryin’.”

Despite himself, the Doctor let out a soft chuckle. “I’m not worrying,” he said, half-rolling over to run his hand through Jamie’s hair. “I’m just thinking.”

“Same thing, with ye.” Jamie screwed up his face as he shifted onto his side. Wincing, the Doctor reached out to hover his hand over the bandages wrapped around his middle. “I’m fine. Just aches a bit, that’s all.”

“I’m sorry.”

“None of that, now.” A wry smile tugged at the corners of Jamie’s mouth. “It’s your job tae rush into fixing things, an’ it’s my job tae keep ye safe.” The Doctor opened his mouth to argue, but Jamie pressed his finger over his lips, quietening him. “Don’t say it. That thing would’ve got ye if it wasn’t for me.”

“What if it wasn’t my job to – to _rush into fixing things_ , as you say?” The suns had risen a little further in the sky, far enough that their rays were beginning to spread across the water towards the cottage. “We could stay here.”

Jamie snorted. “I think Flick’d want their house back, ye know.”

“Well, it wouldn’t have to be here.” Heat was stinging its way across the Doctor’s cheeks. “We could go anywhere you liked.”

“An’ then what? Just stay there?” Jamie was looking at the Doctor sharply. He struggled to sit up, but the Doctor pressed him back down again, and he flopped onto the pillows with a huff. “Settle down?”

“I suppose so. Isn’t that what people do?”

“Not you.”

“I could do.” Swallowing thickly, the Doctor turned his face away from Jamie’s curious gaze. “If you wanted to.”

He could feel Jamie watching him, see his infuriatingly blank expression out of the corner of his eye. “No, ye couldn’t,” he said at last. “Ye could never do that.”

“I could try,” the Doctor protested. “If it was what you wanted. I could try living in a house, with – a roof, and a – a sofa, and an outside the same size as the inside.” He chewed at the inside of his cheek thoughtfully for a moment. “I’m not quite sure what else goes in a house, to be perfectly honest with you.” His cheeks must be terribly orange, he thought. Jamie was _laughing_ , of all things, and he was sure he must look stricken.

“Ye couldn’t live in a house,” Jamie said. “You’d go mad before we’d been there a week.” Something in his face softened, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “Would ye really try? For me?”

“Of course.” The answer came too easily, like the urge to lean forward when teetering on the edge of a cliff. “You’d only have to ask.”

Jamie was laughing again, but this time the fondness in it was clear enough to make warmth pool in the pit of the Doctor’s stomach. “Daftie.” He looped his arm around the Doctor’s waist, reeling him in and holding him securely in place. The rough linen of Jamie’s bandages scraped against his skin where his shirt had ridden up, and he pressed himself into the feeling, as if Jamie’s pain could bleed into him. “You’re sweet, ye know.”

“Sweet?”

“Aye. For offerin’ tae stay somewhere.” Slowly, almost lazily, Jamie began to trace circles on the Doctor’s side with his thumb. “I wouldnae ask ye to, though. I couldn’t – I dinnae want ye tae give up travellin’ for me. I know how much ye love it.”

The next question was hard to stomach, and even harder to force out. “Would you want to? Stay somewhere, I mean.” He had leant forwards too far, and taken the fall. Something swooped in his stomach, hanging suspended there, waiting for Jamie’s reply.

“I’ve told ye, I wouldnae ask ye to.”

“But would you want to? For yourself?”

“No.”

The feeling caught in his stomach unknotted itself, and he let himself breathe again, rolling over to meet Jamie’s eyes. “Well – I can’t say I’m not glad.”

Jamie smiled at him, soft and knowing, and he wondered why he had ever expected a different answer. “Ye know I love bein’ with ye, an’ travellin’ with ye. I love _you_ , not someone else who wants somethin’ different.”

“Yes – yes, I know.” Only when he spoke the words did he realise they were true. “But – well, most people get homesick. Or decide they’d rather stay somewhere else. Ben and Polly did.”

“Mm.” Jamie fell silent for a long moment, and his next words were so quiet that the Doctor almost missed them. “An’ Victoria.”

 _Victoria_. It made the Doctor’s breath catch in his chest to hear it, sending pain blossoming across bruises he had thought long since healed. “Yes. Yes, Victoria did.” Jamie was still quiet, and the Doctor tensed beside him, all but holding his breath for fear of disturbing him.

“Do ye ever get homesick?” Jamie asked at last. “Don’t ye ever want to go back tae where ye came from?”

The water outside was flooded with golden light now, illuminating a path from the horizon to the shore, though the step beyond their front door was still cast into shadow. The Doctor glanced up at the twin suns for as long as he dared before his eyes began to water with the brightness of them, or with some other feeling entirely, one he could not – would not name. “No,” he said. “Not while I have the TARDIS.”

“Mm.” Jamie did not sound convinced, but he did not push the issue further, and the Doctor let out a deep breath in relief. “Me too, ye know.”

The Doctor’s hearts felt for a moment as if they had fallen out of step with each other. “Do you mean that?”

“No.” Drawing him closer, Jamie smiled down at him, though the warmth of it did not meet his eyes. “But I’m tryin’ to.”


End file.
